Why is it that men are still five times more likely to ask a woman out, than the other way around?
The idea of the big man doing the big ask echoes back to a time when women sat demurely biting their tongue, wearing restrictive clothing and doing everything that men asked of them. A time that didn’t respect women’s independence, strengths or rights on any level. In fact, if you believe that women are entitled to the vote, to equal pay and health benefits and are just as capable as men, then you really shouldn’t question who should ask the other one out. It should be down to either gender, it’s a simple question of equality. Right?
The Internet has levelled the playing field between men and women in so many ways, and yet incredibly, when you look at the data, women are five times less likely to initiate a conversation with a man on an online dating site than men!
An alarming number of women refuse to make the first move in online relationships, preferring to opt for the more traditional course of waiting for the man to ask her out.
We asked why women like men to make the first move on dating sites, and got some interesting answers.
“It makes me feel attractive.”
“I like the tradition of it.”
“I don’t want to look too easy.”
“I think men respect you more if they ask you out.”
“I’m too shy to ask someone out.”
But hang on a minute – don’t men need to be made to feel attractive too?. Of course they do! They like to be seduced as much as women. In fact, surveys show that most men had more respect for women who made the first move, they admired the chutzpah and were drawn to assertive women who knew what they wanted.
Many of our fellas told us they were looking for a woman who could be their partner and equal, and a woman who expected the man to dominate from the off may not be someone they wanted to spend their lives with.
As for making a woman look easy, men said they found sexual confidence and knowing what she wants very attractive in a woman. Far more so than women who thought men should do all the chasing.
In this day and age, there is no need for women to act demure while men pursue them and evidence clearly shows that the men aren’t overly blown away by women who hold back.
The beauty of Cupid is that you can simply send a brief message or an icebreaker. It doesn’t commit you to anything. Starting up a conversation with someone who intrigues you is simply an exchange of words.
For all you know your ideal man may have checked out your online profile but decided against messaging you for fear that you’d turn him down, or not be attracted to him. In fact, studies show that women are far more likely to not reply to messages on dating sites than men.
There are plenty of shy guys out there who would be overjoyed to receive a message from you. So why not drop them a message? Say hello, mention what stood out about their profile and yes, it’s OK to mention their sexy smile or impressive biceps if that’s what caught your eye. Don’t forget to mention something that made you laugh or a common interest or a quirky reference to a cult TV show that you also adore.
Add a little bit about yourself, keep it brief for a first message. Say something about you that you didn’t put on your profile, something honest but that implies what sort of person you are. Why not ask a few questions too, which is the best way to engage someone in conversation. Finish off by saying you hope to hear from them soon, then take a deep breath (and maybe a sip of wine) and click Send.
Another advantage of Cupid is you can ask things that you may not ask someone you just met face to face, or you can give compliments that you’d be too shy to say in person.
Online dating is a wonderful way of giving you the confidence that you may not possess in your daily life. And you are not limited to one person. Why not contact several people who intrigue and excite you? After all, you are far more likely to find someone who you really connect with if you approach a number of people.
So why not be a modern women and impress several men with your confidence and assertiveness? You have nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain!